It's weird. While we're raising our own kids we can't see the wonder. There's a saying that goes something like, "I want to have grandchildren first."

That won't work because we have to have our own kids before we can appreciate the wonder of grandkids. And they are a wonder.

Here's what's happening with kids. We have no idea as parents what we are doing. Despite all the parenting classes and other resources out there, it's uncharted territory. We all do the best we can. Most of the time it turns out pretty well, and then along comes the grandkids.

Now we get to do it all over again, with experience! This is not the same as having several kids and being more comfortable with child number three than with child number one. No. This is very different. There have been years of growing and learning in between the kids and the grandkids. Here's how I see it.

When we're parents, we worry about everything. Today, parents have way too much information. They know more than they need to know, so they worry about so much more than we did. They have these precious little human beings that they created and they worry that everything needs to be just so. They need to be read this book or they need to play with this toy. It's all very stressful. They need to be stimulated, or not. One expert says do this and another says do something completely different.

Parenting can be tough if you work at it too much.

Since I'm a grandparent, my views are bias, but I think you should just do what feels good and what feels right. The kids will tell you what they want and what they like. Even if they can't speak.
I have one grandchild that just graduated from high school and two who are babies. The one that just graduated has struggled and worked so very hard for everything she has accomplished. Still, it's hard for me not to challenge her in everything she does so that she can build a solid future and become the independent young woman I know she can be.

The babies are easy. They have every toy and stuffed animal on the planet, but to let them have their space and see what they really want to do is so special. It takes a little while because when Mimi and Papa are in the house, things are different.

We're not the "anything goes" grandparents, but we are the "what would you like to do" grandparents. Sometimes we don't say anything and just let them decide what they want to do with their time. It's fascinating.

Young Charlie was content just trying to climb up the back of the porch swing and taking toys out of a bucket. I would put the toys back in the bucket and he would take them out again. This went on all afternoon until a nap interrupted our project, because he was worn out.

Sierra was a nurse. Everyone (especially Mimi) had to be listened to in order for them to have a clean bill of health. There were blood pressure checks, as well, and thankfully everyone checked out OK.

Parents have a hard time letting kids just be kids. It's not a parenting fault. It's the result of having this tremendous responsibility to raise perfect children. It's way overrated. The parents of today's parents didn't have half the information and resources now available, but the current parents seem to be doing a wonderful job of raising their kids, while they're all stressed out about it.

Perhaps there's not so much too it. There's a book I read many times when our kids were growing up. It's by Robert Fulghum and called Everything I know, I Learned in Kindergarten. Here's a summary;

"These are the things I learned (in Kindergarten):

1. Share everything.
2. Play fair.
3. Don't hit people.
4. Put things back where you found them.
5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.
6. Don't take things that aren't yours.
7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT somebody.
8. Wash your hands before you eat.
9. Flush.
10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
11. Live a balanced life — learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
12. Take a nap every afternoon.
13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup — they all die. So do we.
16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first worked you learned — the biggest word of all — LOOK."

Parents can learn from grandparents, not because we're any smarter but rather, because we have experience. We've been where they are all the way through to adulthood, so we've got credentials.

I love a Facebook post that goes something like, "Don't make fun of me asking for help with my computer, I taught you how to use a spoon!"

Grand parenting is awesome!

Bill Packard lives in Union and is the founder of BPackard.com.  He is a speaker, author, small business coach and consultant.